Last New York Thoughts

I'll have to admit that once nice thing about coming to New York was that so much of my life had to be put on hold while I was here. I'm sure I'll pay the price for a lot of it in the coming weeks, but sometimes I just have to throw up my hands and say I simply can't do it all. On Friday I was at Lois Greenfield's photo studio to have lunch with her and go over my portfolio one more time and talk about my photography goals. She's an incredibly generous friend and is going to help me take the next steps I'll need to get my work in front of more people.

As we were going over the images, at one point she turned to me and said, how do you have time to do all of this? And I said it's something that I really want and so I really focus on it as much as I possibly can. It means there isn't a lot of time for much of anything else. I don't see my friends probably as much as I should unless they happen to be in front of my camera, and I'm certainly not getting the sleep I should.

But every person who inspires me, every photographer whose work I admire, if I look at how they got to where they are it was due to hard work, plain and simple. I've rarely been unsuccessful when I really put my mind to something. They used to call me "long shot" in college because it looked like I was the luckiest guy around. Everything always seemed to work out for me. But I'll tell you now that it had less to do with luck and more to do with just showing up, working for free if necessary, and making sure I was constantly getting better.

When I'm not shooting, I'm not moving forward.

Lois' operation is a lot bigger than mine, but we realized we are both fighting the same battles of time and people management. There is never enough time in the day to organize shoots, keep portfolios updated and make sure prints are getting made. Yet we're both succeeding in our own ways. Clearly we're both doing something right.

It was really a great opportunity for her to go through my work and tell me what she felt was strongest and what she felt needed more work. I didn't disagree with any of it. I know where my art is it's strongest in my heart. I always have. It's nice to hear that inner voice validated by someone whose eye is as good as hers. It will help me grow because ever since I started to seriously create my photography years ago, I always created images that pleased me first. If I liked what I saw, chances are others would too. When I tried to create what I thought others might like, that was when my work lost it's point of view. Obvious perhaps, but artists fight that battle all the time. I must continue to trust my heart.

On one of my last nights in NY, Mark and Cheree and I went out to dinner at a great fairly new Italian restaurant up near 114th and Broadway, and sadly it's name escapes me at the moment. It’s a bit funny sounding and begins with a P, and perhaps I'll remember it before I'm done writing. I can tell you it's just north of Tom's Diner on 112th which has become probably as famous as any other place in New York only because is in pretty much every episode of Seinfeld. I didn't even notice it as we walked past it the first time, but Mark and Cheree pointed it out on our way back to the subway and I just couldn't resist being a tourist with a camera phone.

Finally it was time to leave. In the cab heading back through midtown to the airport, as I looked out the window I was a little bit sad to be leaving. The past week and half had been a flurry of hard work with a few moments of fun here and there, but I felt the trip unfinished somehow. Some of my favorite moments were when someone spotted my photography portfolios and asked to see them. It's always interesting to see people huddled around turning the pages of my work. The reactions were always good and will inspire me to continue on my path with increased determination.

I sat in the airport writing and people watching. It's amazing how ridiculous some people can be. There was a guy in a suit and black overcoat who decided to stand near the gate entrance even though we were still at least a half an hour away from boarding. He was talking on one of those bazaar looking bluetooth headsets. I have one but I only use it because I have to by law when I'm driving, but I can't bring myself to use it any other time because it's so... well... ridiculous. No one looks like a more pompous jerk than when they're spouting orders and gesturing wildly simply because their hands are free. This particular moron was in what I like to call "lighthouse mode." It's a sort of pacing, but since there is really no where to go at an airport gate, he simply began to rotate as he gestured. I usually ignore idiots like that, but because of the lighthouse mode, every time I would tune him out, I would get, "...some way to get from Sydney to Perth and back .................. going to Sydney then I can meet them for the ....................... back to Perth again by next Monday......" Auuuugh!

In the meantime, the adjacent gate is unloading a plane and weary travelers are trying to get past this whirling dervish and he's completely oblivious that he's in the way of a planeload of people. By the time I boarded and walked past him, of course he was in first class, it made me happy to be in coach so I wouldn't have to be anywhere near him.

But he wasn't the only inconsiderate one. I think we need to create a new domestic policy called No Citizen Left Behind. Let me explain. Every citizen is tested on various things like proper tipping and what constitutes an acceptable piece of carry on luggage. If you don't pass restaurant tipping, then you lose your eating out privileges. If you bring a piece of luggage on that clearly should be checked, you lose your ability to travel by plane. I was amazed by what people were trying to cram into the overhead compartments. This of course meant that people who did follow the rules such as myself, had a bit of a time finding room near our seats for our proper carry-ons. But it all worked out. I do believe in karma and karma seems to be sweeping up the refuse nicely these days.

I got back into town and had a nice limo ride back to my place from a Bulgarian driver who used to be a mountain climber back in the day. We talked about growing up behind the Iron Curtain, which for those of you who don't know was the term people used to use for people living under control of the Soviet Union. It was pretty much impossible to travel in and out on your own because they were afraid you'd leave for the west forever or something. I never understood how governments could live with themselves if people were always trying to get out of the countries they controlled.

I got home and spent the next few hours trying to schedule a shoot with a new model I've been wanting to work with for about a year and a half, but since I really probably needed some down time more than anything else, we decided to put it off a few days. But as I said before, when I'm not shooting, I'm not moving forward, so I'm sure we'll make that happen before the end of next week. She sounds very excited and so am I.

AndJillian Ann who I spent some really great quality time with in the middle of the night about a week ago is now in Miami performing at the Ultra Music Festival with some amazing bands and DJs. I wish I could be there to see her. But I just got an email from her and it looks like we'll be shooting again next month. Always creative, productive and inspiring.

And speaking of inspiring, I got home and started to do laundry and put everything from my travels away including my winter coat which I'll have to admit has become so big on me that I feel a little silly wearing it anymore. I was walking through Union Square one morning last week and a big gust of wind came up and blew my coat tight against me and I realized I was just swimming in it. I've been trying to just make it though the last few weeks of winter without buying a smaller coat because at this rate, anything I buy now will be too big on me next winter. I haven't really been weighing myself on a regular basis because I know I'm eating healthy and doing a lot of walking and I think being overly concerned with numbers can be demotivating sometimes. But I decided to jump on the scale and see where I was. Amazingly, in the last month, I've lost another ten pounds. It makes me happy to think that even during the cold winter months when people are usually putting on a few pounds, I'm continuing to get smaller. I thought my coach seat was a little more roomy than usual this time.

Still a very long way to go until I'm where I want to be, but I'm making steady progress amidst all the other things going on in my life right now, and that's a little bit of incredible.

So that's that. I'm back in Chicago, starting to catch up with my life here and feeling like I'm going to burst if I don't start clicking my shutter soon. Too many ideas to explore! The day isn't over yet!

Politics, Coffee and Lingerie

I'm always amazed by how some cities feel like home and others just don't. New York feels like home to me. I've never stayed in the same place when I'm here, sometimes hotels, sometimes at friends' homes. But after a few hours to re-gain my bearings, everything feels familiar again. I do love the subway system here. I've pretty much nailed the express trains, when to jump on and off the locals. I love that the trains are several blocks long. If you're on the platform, a train will stop in front of you unlike Chicago where the platforms are longer than the trains.

I rarely get lost, although on this trip, probably due to lack of sleep, I did mess up my internal east/west compass last Saturday night as I was on my way to a dinner party in Harlem. I was on 120th and for some reason started heading toward the Hudson and reached the river before it dawned on me that I had been walking in the wrong direction. So I trudged back to the center of Manhattan having walked nearly the width of the island. I showed up a bit embarrassed for delaying the start of a dinner party I had been invited to, but I guess that happens.

The dinner was hosted by some friends of friends, two makeup artists who were recent transplants from San Francisco. We sat down to a beautiful and tasty vegetarian dinner and before long the topic turned to politics and our mutual dismay over American foreign policy. I was the Chicago representative, but besides the afore mentioned ex San Francisco-ans, the other dinner guests included the boyfriend of one of the makeup artists from northern Italy via London (he had the most amazing Italian/British accent), another film editor friend of mine who bounces back and forth between the coasts but has recently put down roots in NY, and of course my friends Mark and Cheree. Admittedly a liberal bunch, but it was interesting to talk about our collective travels and world politics and the foot prints that America and Americans seem to leave pretty much everywhere on the planet.

It was nice to find myself at such a like minded dinner table in a beautiful NY brownstone in the middle of such a great city. I think those of us who lean to the left have been pretty beaten up the last few years and sometimes it just feels good to circle the wagons, pass the vegetarian lasagna and vent a little. It felt good. And I met some great people who once again welcomed me into their home. I love the people here.

Speaking of American politics, earlier on the day on that Saturday, Lois and I decided that it was important enough to take a couple of hours off from editing and head to Times Square for a protest march of the 3rd anniversary of the Iraq War. As we got closer I was surprised there were not more people there. So when NY1 asked to interview me, I said yes. They asked me what I thought and I told them I was disappointed that while most people in this country think the war is going badly, the outrage over the mounting loss of life on both sides seems to be missing. Americans seem to be numb or asleep to the numbers of those killed every day. It's like a clock ticking. Eventually you just don't hear it anymore. So I was happy to state my views on NY television and Lois and I were happy to add two to the number of the crowd of protesters.

So often in life we don't get things exactly the way we want them.

I was making some tea at a post house I was editing the Hot Feet commercial at, when the statuesque blond sales rep that works there, looked up at me, a bit embarrassed that she had been adding sugar packet after sugar packet into a cup of coffee nearly as tall as she was. She told me she knew it was a little weird, how much sugar she put in her coffee. I told her I never judged people by their coffee. In fact, I said, I think coffee was the one thing in life that you could get exactly the way you wanted it every time. She seemed pleased that not only had I not judged her sugar to coffee ratio, but that I had given her a reason to take a certain amount of satisfaction in that no matter how her day was going, her coffee was always going to be just the way she wanted it. She seemed to give me a knowing smile every time I saw her after our little coffee interlude.

One morning while we were waiting to hear back from the Hot Feet client whether they liked the spots we were cutting, I had a couple of hours to kill and headed down to SOHO to window shop and walk around one of my favorite neighborhoods. I remembered that one of my favorite high-end lingerie stores, Agent Provocateur of the UK, had one of their three US locations there and I rang the buzzer to be let in. Some guys might be a little uncomfortable walking around in such a place, but I've always found since the first time I walked into a Victoria's Secret years ago, that if you aren't shy about asking for a little assistance, you get treated very well once they realize you're serious about buying some beautiful things.

I had arrived just after Agent Provocateur had opened at 11am that morning and the woman who greeted me, dressed in the standard AP pink smock with a generous eyeful of cleavage showing, apologized for her delay in answering the door as she ushered me inside. I was on a mission to pick up some new lingerie for a photo shoot I was planning and it took me a few minutes of a casual sweep of everything on display before I settled in on a few favorites. I was shopping for my muse and Kim and I worked to find some specific things that would fit her size. Is she tall, Kim asked? Oh yes, I said. All legs. And we headed over to find some stockings to go with what I had picked out. I was doing enough selecting that soon, a second pink-smocked woman came over to help with some of the decisions. It was great fun talking about sizes and colors and styles and I walked out with enough to ensure a fabulous photo shoot.

More from New York next time....

I'm Completely Humbled... or How Billy Got His Groove Back... Part Deux

Okay where was I?...

Ah yes... So I decided to come to New York. Coming to Manhattan I guess can be an intimidating experience for some. I know the first time I arrived to work on a project almost 15 years ago, I thought I was flying on the same plane with an art director and a producer who I knew. So I didn't really have all the details of my arrival in my head because I thought I was going to be with people who knew what we were doing. In actual fact, they had arrived in New York the day before, and I was traveling alone.

So we landed and I made my way to the airport taxi stand around midnight, still wondering if my colleagues had simply missed the flight. I knew I was staying at the Plaza Hotel, but I didn't know anything more than that. So when the cabbie asked me where The Plaza was, I was confused that he would not know where one of the most famous hotels in the world was. I knew it was on Fifth Avenue and told him so and maybe he could see how green I was, and was looking to take advantage of my ignorance, and it did throw me a little. But I made it fine and felt at home in pretty short order. I guess The Plaza will do that for you.

So now every time I arrive here, it's funny to think back on how I flew to New York alone, with a few dollars and not quite enough information to really be useful. These days, since I really only am here for work, I usually hit the ground running and this was no exception. I landed at a little after 1 in the afternoon last Thursday and went straight to the post house where I would be editing the television commercial.

Oh yeah. I guess I never did say what exactly I was doing here. Lois Greenfield and I have been collaborating on her television commercials and other projects for about ten years now. It's really quite a rewarding working relationship that grew into a wonderful strong friendship as well, so as I said before, even though I couldn't really spare the time to come here and help out, I couldn't really pass it up either.

We're working on a 30 second TV spot for a new Broadway show based on the music of Earth Wind and Fire called Hot Feet. I took a little phone picture of the theater marquee on 42nd Street on the way home tonight.

Since the deadline was so fast we worked long and hard and over the weekend and came up with some really good cuts. Of course, some of my residual stupid mistakes from over-tiredness apparently stowed away in my suitcase, because at one point on Friday night as I was working on another version of the commercial, I managed to erase my favorite of all the cuts.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I rarely lose anything computer related. I'm quite the master at recovering data from broken hard drives and computer accidents. But this time, all my skills and super powers could not bring that cut back. I was sick to my stomach. No one had seen that version of the commercial but me since I was working alone and the auto backups were not usable because it was almost two hours before I had realized what I had done. It was a rookie mistake because I've just been so exhausted these days. Not enough sleep and too many projects going on for the last three months. It just keeps catching up to me.

So I tried in vain to remember what I had done. Now it may seem easy to go back and remember this scene came first, then this scene, then this scene... but it really is so much more complicated than that. In this particular commercial, there were about 35 edits. Basically more than one per second. A rapid fire of dancers jumping and spinning and flying. That would have been hard to reconstruct when I was well rested, which I certainly was not. I did my best and Lois called. I told her what happened and she wisely talked me into stopping and coming out with her for a late dinner at a beautiful French restaurant down the street called Fleur de Sel. I let off a little steam over a beautiful meal and I felt much better by the time we jumped in a cab to head home.

Home.

I should mention that while I'm here, I'm staying with two amazing friends of mine, Mark and Cheree, film editors who I met before they moved on to New York. They live up on the upper west side of Manhattan in a neighborhood called Hamilton Heights around 150th and so it gave me a chance to learn yet another part of the island of Manhattan that I was unfamiliar with. Mark, you may remember, surprised me by showing up unexpectedly at my Echo Gallery photography exhibition opening last month. I've really missed him since he moved here and it's been great getting a chance to catch up with the two of them when our collective schedules allow us to grab a quick bite to eat or whatever.

On Friday morning, Mark pointed me in the right direction and, armed with maps of the NYC Subway on my video iPod and my NFT book, it was quick to get my bearings once again and head to work every morning with the masses.

So yes there has been a lot of working since I've arrived. But as usual, I do manage to squeeze a little more out of the hours of the day than most, so there has been a bit of play as well. And really... how many paragraphs into this entry are we?... it's how Billy Got His Groove Back.

Good food and good friends.

To me, there is nothing better than sitting across the table from someone you care about and having a nice loooong conversation. Mark took me out for to a local Mexican joint my first night and we had a chance to find out what we've both been up to since the gallery reception was happily too busy to spend any quality time talking.

Of course on Friday, Lois took me out to that wonderful dinner. Her photography was such an inspiration to me even before I met her. I've been wanting to hear about this show called Held that she created with the Australian Dance Theater Company that has been performing all over the world. It premiered in Australia and then had a great run in New York and then two sold out weeks in Paris at the Theatre De La Ville last fall. She's set to go on another leg of her world tour with it again next fall. It was great hearing her talk about how she's spent the last few years reinventing herself and reaching new heights with her amazing work. She is still such an inspiration to me and it's always so much fun to collaborate with her.

Of course my wonderful friend Jillian Ann lives here, but I've never gotten the chance to spend time with her on her turf. It seems like our schedules never seem to converge for any time to get together when I'm here, but we were determined. So Sunday night I got a text from her about 11pm saying she was free if I was and so I hopped in a cab and headed down to the other side of Manhattan to pick her up and we ended up in the East Village at Yaffa Cafe. We ate healthy fruit and had many cups of chamomile tea and talked about life and relationships and how I'm worried about my fading memory and how it's probably because I'm at places like Yaffa Cafe until 3am. I got back home about 3:30, only to be up again at 7am to head back downtown to do more editing.

Lois and I finished up on the spots about 8pm that night and I called Mark to see if he was still editing because both he and I wanted me to meet the director he cuts for, Jeff Madoff up on 52nd. Jeff has been making amazing images for years and works regularly with Ralph Lauren and Victoria's Secret. I guess Mark had shown him some of my photography, so he was interested in getting together as well. I've been carrying around sample books from my Chicago show with me because people have been asking me about my photography pretty much everywhere I go these days and I gave him one to look at.

The humbling part...

Now Jeff is a guy who really is a lover of great imagery. I was really flattered and humbled by the way he looked through my entire book, not just flipping through it, but stopping and commenting on many of the images he liked. As he started looking through it for the second time, I told him I really wanted him to have it to add to his incredible collection of art books. He told me only if I would sign it, and so I did.

We continued to talk about how I had made the images and about ideas for images he was hoping to create in the near future and we walked into his office and he began pulling these incredible photo and art books off the shelves. Really rare editions and it was like buried treasure. These books were so amazingly crafted. Some small, some as big as small tables. I couldn't believe he was sharing these with me. They were so beautiful and so moving and after an hour or so we agreed I would come back another time with wine and we would get take out and stay up all night going through these amazing images. Jeff is really a generous person. Meeting him is certainly one of the highlights of my time here. He really values Mark's talent as an editor and I'm so glad they are working together. I walked out of their studio just speechless at what I had seen and heard. What an inspiring night. And another person who I admire here who has found something that moves them in my photography as well. It felt so good.

On Sunday afternoon Mark and Cheree and I managed to find a few hours to head out to Roosevelt Island which is a little strip of an island in between Manhattan and Brooklyn and Queens in the East River. We took the F out there and then noticed the signs that the F line was not running back to Manhattan that day, so we quickly looked up to see if the tram was running overhead and it was, so at least we were not stranded on Roosevelt Island! I'd heard about the old smallpox hospital on the island and Cheree mentioned that most of the time you couldn't get anywhere near it because the southern tip of the island is usually fenced off and closed to the public, but as luck would have it, the gate was open and we excitedly walked up the path towards the spooky old crumbling building. Even in the middle of the afternoon it just felt haunted. Over the better part of the 1800s and into the 1900s the island was home to insane asylums and pretty much anything else that no one wanted in the more populated parts of New York. You could just feel the historical misery as we walked along.

Well there's more to tell, but it's 2am and I have to be up in five hours so it will have to wait a bit. But things are good. I'm busy and tired, but also inspired and hopeful.

I'm Completely Humbled... or How Billy Got His Groove Back

I think for anyone reading this blog on a regular basis, it's easy to see that 2006 has been the best of times and the worst of times for me. Well it probably hasn't truly been the worst of times, but there have been very trying and frustrating ones, and maybe only because there have been an abundance of best ones.

It's mid-March and I can honestly say that for the first time since before the start of the new year, tomorrow, I actually have a day off. No deadlines. Not a one. Nowhere I have to be. It has been a relentless few months and as I have told many people who have watched this normally happy man sink deeper and deeper into a bit of a funk, I'm tired of being a C student.

I've been tired for some time of being so overwhelmed by too much on my plate that I'm not doing any of it well. Lots of mistakes are being made. Projects are getting done, but not with the same level of excellence that I'm used to. It seems like I'm just racing to stay ahead of the next deadline.

And so when I got a call from my good friend, photographer and director Lois Greenfield to come to New York and help her with a television commercial she was directing, I hesitated because i knew I was simply exhausted from the past few months, and I knew what I needed was a little down time, not something else to squeeze in to my life right now.

But sometimes... well... actually most of the time for me, when an opportunity presents itself to me that involves people I care about... doing something I don't normally get to do... in one of my favorite cities... with a chance to meet new people who could possibly help me realize a few of the things I want to accomplish in my life... it's nearly impossble to say no.

And so I said... yes.

So with a ridiculous amount of unfinished projects in Chicago wondering where I was suddenly heading... after managing to get the lowest grade in the class on my French final, but enough to advance to the next level if I spent the next two weeks really studying to catch up... I got on a plane to New York.

(screeeeeeeeeeeeeech)

Ok... so much for a day off. The project we thought was approved... is suddenly not.... back to work. And we'll have to hear about my adventures another time... stay tuned...

New York

I really don't have the proper time to write an entry here, but I've gotten a few messages from concerned people wondering where I've been and why I haven't been writing here lately. It's nice to be missed.

I'm in New York and everything is going well. Lots of adventures while I work on a project here. The people I'm working with are great and taking good care of me and I've been catching up and reacquainting myself with a city I really love. I can't say why some cities fit me like a glove and others don't, but NY is definitely one of those fits just right cities.

It seems like whenever I'm here, I'm working. I've never really been a tourist here. Arrive, hit the ground running and don't stop until I'm on a plane to wherever my next stop is. But it feels like home here somehow. I have wonderful friends here who I often see in Chicago, so it's nice to see them on their turf for a change.

Yes there have been adventures, but it will have to wait. I have clients in this morning in a little while and it's time for a little fruit and some tea and a deep breath before it all starts up again today.

Yes, I am fine. Thank you so much for asking. It feels good to be missed.

Back to New York

A quick one today. Haven't had much time for anything, let alone blog writing.

But it looks like I'll be returning to one of my favorite cities in the whole world in a little over a week to collaborate with my great friend, photographer and director Lois Greenfield. We're going to be working on a television commercial for a new Broadway show, and since all the paperwork hasn't been officially signed, it would probably be bad form to say which one right at the moment.

I've had a great honor to work with Lois on several of her previous commercials and it's always incredibly rewarding. I can already feel the energy in our phone conversations about it. So that's all I can say at this point except, I love New York in.... March??!!! How about you?